white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
