If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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