I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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