You don't have asthma, your pregnant
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
