normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
