Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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