I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
