the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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