i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
