I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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