Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
