i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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