the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
