You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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