it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
