apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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