Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Shame - the story of my life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
