I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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