dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
