I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
