Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
