I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
