shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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