I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
