just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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