the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
