I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
