We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
