Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to calm my uterus...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
