just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
