So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just high enough for therapy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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