if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
