also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
