I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
