Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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