Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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