so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
