Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
