A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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