My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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