just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
