so explain again why im purple
no
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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