Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Enjoy the penises
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
