I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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