Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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