just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
