I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
