My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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