So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
