They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
