I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
