in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
