Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
