i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
