Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
