Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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