Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize