the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
