3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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