I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
