i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
