Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
