There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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