if you like me you must not know who I am
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize