He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
