Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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