I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
